Tag Archive | 2.0

47- The Nines [2.0]

A troubled actor, a television show runner, and an acclaimed videogame designer find their lives intertwining in mysterious and unsettling ways.

Movies that are intended to be interpreted and deal with “big ideas” are quite tricky to discuss. While it’s certainly preferable to see someone with a vision create something original as oppose to a retread on any number of genres and films, at what expense does it come?

Inception divided people but was largely well received because, despite an overuse of exposition, there was an abundance of tangible information that was given to the audience to make sense of all the fantastical sequences. David Lynch has made a career out of puzzling viewers and has been successful and found a niche audience from it. On the other hand, take Richard Kelly’s Southland Tales, a hugely ambitious failure that has yet to attain the cult status it was predicted to gain.

The Nines did not work for me on virtually any level. I have no objection to admitting that I was l largely confused at times. Is there a larger meaning, some theme throughout that pulls everything together? Perhaps, but I didn’t find it. Even worse, I wasn’t entertained in the slightest. Intertwining stories can work (see Go), but often are lazy messes (see Crash–no, don’t actually see that film). The Nines also lacks a single sympathetic character, and that’s a problem for a movie like this. Of course, someone else may interpret that otherwise.


33- The Losers [2.0]

After being betrayed and left for dead, members of a CIA black ops team root out those who targeted them for assassination.

Want to be a Loser? First, you have to refer to members of your team by nickname or badass last name (Roque, Clay, Pooch, and Cougar will suffice). Then, you’ll show that you’ve had a long history with your teammates by talking back and forth really, really fast, occasionally finishing each others sentences. Also, you’re going to want to be fairly annoying.

Want to be the writer for “The Losers”? Go ahead and throw in a team betrayal or two, have members in-fight and skip logic as often as possible. For example, if there are kill orders out against your character by various countries and terrorist factions, by all means have them meet someone out in broad daylight. If you’re the director, throw in slow motion shots of cockfights to establish a tongue-in-cheek tone but then go for every action cliche you can think of.

I take no issue with a film that doesn’t take itself seriously, but The Losers can’t decide what it wants to be (although if I owned the rights to The A-Team, I’d consider a lawsuit). Chris Evans shows a lot of charisma, but the rest of the team doesn’t fare so well. Idris Elba is better than this material, and Jeffrey Dean Morgan looks fairly bored throughout the film.

And then there’s Jason Patric.

In perhaps one of the worst action villains to ever grave the screen, Jason Patric is a complete bore as Max. Every time he appears on screen, the film screeches to a halt. Though the plot revolves around actions caused by his character, each Max scene feels as if it’s from a completely different movie. Perhaps Patric thought it’d be an interesting approach to play Max as the most humorless, uninteresting villain he could possibly be. If so, he succeeded.

Sylvian White may know how to shoot action, but he still hasn’t proven himself as a film director. For someone who has worked under Michel Gondry and Spike Jonze, that’s quite a shame.

24- Hausu [2.0]

Oshare is excited about spending summer vacation with her father, until she finds out that his beautiful, freakishly serene girlfriend Ryouko would be going as well. Oshare decides she will be going to her grandmother’s house with her friends in the country instead. However, the girls are unaware that Oshare’s grandmother is actually dead and the house is actually haunted.

The trailer to Hausu promises something surreal that the actual film doesn’t deliver. Sure, there’s absurd imagery found throughout the movies’ short running time, but none of it amounts to much. Regardless of how dated the film may be, the tricks employed in the film were likely laughable at the time of its release as well. Hausu should have been called A Guide to Poorly Use Greenscreen.

10- Due Date [2.0]

High-strung father-to-be Peter Highman is forced to hitch a ride with aspiring actor Ethan Tremblay on a road trip in order to make it to his child’s birth on time.

Derivative of director Todd Phillip’s previous film The Hangover, Due Date is a mean-spirited film with hardly any laughs. If you are tired of Robert Downey Jr. or Zach Galifianakis’ shtick, you are going to want to pass on this film.