68- Transformers 3 [1.0]

When a mysterious event from Earth’s past erupts into the present day it threatens to bring a war to Earth so big that the Transformers alone will not be able to save us.

What a dumb film. Sure, I knew what I was getting into, but I at least enjoyed the first as pure summer blockbuster entertainment. The first hour and a half of Transformers 3 is largely comprised of dialogue that does nothing to advance the plot and features well respected actors cashing in paychecks while playing the thinnest of caricatures. The last hour was action packed with robot action (the only reason I even bothered in the first place), but even that wasn’t enough to keep this mess together. And for a film targeted to younger kids, there was a ton of cursing in Transformers 3. Call me soft, but is it really necessary for a film of this nature?

Shia LaBeouf screams his way from scene to scene while Rosie Huntington-Whiteley does nothing more than replace Megan Fox as eye candy. It amazes me that Frances McDormand, John Turturro and John Malkovich are in a Transformers film but hey, that’s Hollywood for you. (Also, Malkovich was likely looking for a big paycheck after Spiderman 4 fell through at Sony.)

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